welcome to:

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:03:04 GMT

this is a time to be humbled. i cannot afford an ego today.

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 04:54:56 GMT

I had anticipated Calgary would be the highlight of this trek cross-country. In fact, I almost booked a second overnight stay. Now I am dreading dawn and the eight or so of hours left glaringly vacant for me to fill in this city before my evening departure. I want to wake up in beautiful British Columbia to parted lips and a hungry tongue sooner than later. (Whose parted lips and hungry tongue is to be determined at a later date.)

An Ode to Hostelling: Calgary-style

I wonder if we were not such stark strangers - we; us; the five in this room - would there be a single difference in our positions on these couches? In our rhythmic, independent keystrokes or penstrokes? Would conversation ensue? Would we even glance up?

***

Four corners - four glowing monitors. The man in the middle ponders over Sudoku and scratches his forehead just above his left eyebrow whenever I cast my gaze in his direction. He is defenseless against my scrutiny - he knows not what I write.

***

Go to a youth hostel to make new friends. It is what we are all doing here. Except in this overstuffed common-room, five silent bodies, ten darting eyes, fifty agile fingers, and ten sealed lips protest in disillusionment.

i just resurfaced and here you are

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 23:31:54 GMT

Confession:

Upon receipt of an incoming call from a phone number with which I am unfamiliar, I deliberately ignore the four rings until my voice mail picks up. If there is no coherent message to speak of, I then instinctively search the number on canada411.ca.

It just occurred to me that the world is terribly small these days, and that we are all potential stalkers. Yikes.

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:46:05 GMT

every time i see a little red car
i do a double-take to be sure
it isn't you.

do you know how many times
i have unwittingly jerked my head today?

i imagine
if each of us had our own unique vehicle––custom-made
to accommodate our individual heights and weights, exact hair colour,
astrological signs,
sense of humour,
tone of voice, our
most intimate smells and sexual
proclivities––
that i might be spared a life’s worth of heartache
and spying out my window
at my unsuspecting neighbour backing into her driveway
then lifting the hatch
to drag in the groceries.

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 20:00:59 GMT

"Vade Mecum"

I want the scissors to be sharp
and the table perfectly level
when you cut me out of my life
and paste me in that book you always carry.

--Billy Collins

Happy Canada Day

bad dreams like this roll in like a cold front

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 01:14:42 GMT

there is a sweet, sweet bicycle laying upright against the wall in my backyard. i would love to take it for a spin tonight, but i've spent the majority of the weekend timid and tense - i am learning about bleeding and it will be weeks before i ride again.

and of bikes and riding: i think fondly of n. and the passing of time; i am increasingly inspired to go-go-go-get away from here. me: so unwholesome next to her sound righteousness. my debt to her: an impossible vacuum in which i will surely burn infinite. (still, i won't go down easy - i am no smooth elixir.)

with my palms outstretched and ticket in hand, i will cross your waters some day.

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 01:11:25 GMT

forgive away in the excitement
of certain happiness and a blonde promise

                  fate!

i will propose my ornament
    but darling

                    not tonight

Sun, 25 May 2008 14:45:38 GMT

i am going to bomb this.

too spaced to do it right, too grounded to take it lightly. and i'm sorry on top of things. i have been too.... and not enough.... i forget the sensation of firmer ground.

balance, you say. what's that?

twisted tits and face smashed against the mattress

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 01:26:42 GMT

feed the artists!

Danish government wants jobless artists to become teachers

---

i am home from montreal with a new haircut and fresh images of lingering touch.

delicious.

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 01:48:25 GMT

"Provisions"

What should we have taken
with us? We never could decide
on that; or what to wear,
or at what time of
year we should make the journey

So here we are in thin
raincoats and rubber boots

On the disasterous ice, the wind rising

Nothing in our pockets

But a pencil stub, two oranges
Four Toronto streetcar tickets

And an elastic band holding a bundle
of small white filing cards
printed with important facts.

--Margaret Atwood

baby 'cause in the dark you can't see shiny cars

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 08:21:45 GMT

i have no shortage of things to accomplish during this insomniac spree, yet i find myself surfing idly and glancing over my shoulder in increasingly infrequent intervals. there is something about the night that changes this house, even with all the lights on. i try to read and am interrupted by my own imagination's frightful fancies. i type away with one earphone in, straining to listen against the low volume for...what? i don't know.

onto other things. i find this amusing:

i'm on the same side as you i'm just a little bit behind

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:48:34 GMT

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. christel
2. chris
3. bay-a

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. chreid
(The others are irrelevant and unmentionable. Leave the past where it is.)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my hands, on most days
2. my eyes
3. my frame

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. (ahem.)
2. my damned hair
3. my skin

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. apparently, all roots grow from scotland
2. irish, where scotish fails
3. …i was born in toronto?

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. unexpected unemployment
2. being trapped here forever
3. needles

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. my blackberry
2. a scarf
3. money

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
1. t-shirt
2. flannel pants
3. earrings

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. ani difranco
2. tegan and sara
3. kaki king

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
1. gay sons of lesbian mothers, kaki king
2. hands clean, alanis morissette
3. sodom, south georgia, iron & wine

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. honesty
2. passion
3. comfort

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
1. my cat’s name is monday
2. i prefer to communicate by e-mail rather than phone
3. i don’t own any pink clothing

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. killer hips
2. kissable lips
3. a good belly

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. reading
2. writing
3. wandering

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. sip tea ‘til noon
2. finish reading written on the body
3. surprise someone

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
1. asl-english interpreter
2. writer
3. marine biologist

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. belfast
2. new york
3. halifax

THREE NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. lyndell
2. sara
3. logan

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. experience and define love beyond all cliches
2. write a book
3. live in every canadian province for at least one year

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. i take forever to get ready
2. i fuss about my hair
3. i have absolutely no interest in team sports

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. i love women
2. i love fast cars
3. i would rather get lost in the woods than the mall

List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.

1. I am the oldest unmarried/"unattached" woman in my family.

2. I am mercilessly adamant about correct spelling and proper grammar. (I try to keep this to myself.)

3. I seem to be the only person I know who can't stand dogs. I don't like touching them and will go far out of my way to avoid doing so.

4. Socializing is often a chore. I reward myself afterward with sleep and isolation.

5. I am not allergic to cats, although I was led to believe I was from a very young age.

6. I spend a lot of time in my own head. Sometimes it interrupts conversations I have with other people and I will blurt out what I am thinking at the moment. Can be a very dangerous thing.

7. I hate parsley. People say you can't taste it. I can taste any measure of it in anything and will proceed to discard the entire dish upon discovery.

anti-bullying

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 18:23:32 GMT

Finally, my chance to wear the pinkest scarf of them all!

Wear pink to fight bullying, minister says

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:02:01 GMT

oh sweet black universe, give me back candy's address!

i cannot accept that i've lost her for good. not as long as i can still hear her hearty, wild-woman growl-howl over the grinding gears of the greyhound we shared once upon a time.

come back, ms roo.

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 00:22:13 GMT

So.

This year I'm taking the long way around. Instead of publishing shameful excuses for legitimate book-goals in advance, I'm going to be doing the work, then reaping the benefits. (Thought I'd put a different spin on things since my last two years have flopped miserably!)

Blah, blah...Canadian authors...all that. You know.

Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Freedom Writers Diary: How a Teacher and 150 Teens Used Writing to Change Themselves and the World Around Them by The Freedom Writers with Erin Gruwell
Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry
Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss
No One Belongs Here More Than You: Stories by Miranda July
The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
**Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O'Neill
The Stone Gods by Jeanette Winterson
Rent Girl by Michelle Tea & Laurenn McCubbin
Deaf Child Crossing by Marlee Matlin
Rose of No Man's Land by Michelle Tea
**I Am a Red Dress by Anna Camilleri
**Fables of Brunswick Avenue by Katherine Govier

** = o canada!

mindless self-indulgence

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 20:15:25 GMT

Directions: Type "(your name) is" with the quotation marks, into a Google search then pick out your favorite 5 responses. Copy, then repost your responses. Here are mine:

Christel is a gentle, cuddly little girl who is also helpful and independent.
Christel is not a member of any public groups.
christel is an independent privately owned company based in hampshire
Christel is the youngest of four children with a solo-quality father and a mother who directs children's choirs at church.
Christel is accused of an assassination attempt and finally condemned.

The Blogalyser reveals...

Your blog/web page text has an overall readability index of 14.
This suggests that your writing style is conventional
(to communicate well you should aim for a figure between 10 and 20).
Your blog has 8 sentences per entry, which suggests your general message is distinguished by clarity
(writing for the web should be concise).

CHARACTER MATRIX

male		female
self		world
past		future

Your text shows characteristics which are 54% male and 46% female
(for more information see the Gender Genie).
Looking at pronoun indicators, you write mainly about yourself, then the world in general and finally your social circle. Also, your writing focuses primarily on the present, next the past and lastly the future.

Find out what your blogging style is like!

EDIT: So, chreid, your LiveJournal reveals...

You are... 2% unique (blame, for example, your interest in mélissa laveaux) and 16% herdlike (partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy writing). When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are wary of trusting strangers. Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is intellectual.

Your overall weirdness is: 18

(The average level of weirdness is: 28.
You are weirder than 37% of other LJers.)

Find out what your weirdness level is!

if you're gonna do it overdo it

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:45:01 GMT

What's your take on the abundance of Obay ads posted around the city?

I love them. I'm anxious for the corporate revelation in the coming weeks though, and that makes me a little afraid. The Conformists are taking a stab at non-conformity, what, by releasing ads that have piqued interest all over the city and all. A bit of sick humour and everyone stands at the utmost attention - are we really that cynical? I know I am. (I must say, I am far more intrigued by this little gem than the Bell-gift-fiasco from a few winters ago. Remember those damned blue presents plastered over every inch of available wall space in this city?)

A sheep I may be, so bring it on, Corporate Canada!

(An article I found on Torontoist.)

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 04:28:57 GMT

It seemed, at the time, a very good idea to destroy all evidence of having ever known her. She was already on her way over, but this blaze was a quick one and it burned hot and fast, understanding the urgency. The smoky clouds were cleared by the penetrating glare of the full moon, and the scent was absorbed by a bounty of pine. Clean slate.

Later, when she came around for her things and to slaughter the unworthy, run-around swine, she was sore and surprised. Nothingness replaced her remaining belongings. Empty space. No body in the vulnerable, blistering void. No deliciously severed prize-pig tonight. She swung and raised her axe suddenly and lashed out at the supple earth beneath her. With a primitive roar, she split the soil and rendered the merciless exposure of the private confines of anthills and tree roots. The weapon wedged in the ground and mocked her: sharp, tall, upright.

She abandoned the axe. She trudged through the gardens. Collapsed in the car, and finally awoke.

keep your eye on that one

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 03:22:49 GMT

Ani D. meets the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Could I have a bigger dream come true?!

(This is actually pretty cute.)

if you always get up late you'll never be on time

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 15:40:37 GMT

dreamt of strangers knocking on the back door, commuter planes parked in the driveway, the neighbour-kids climbing through holes in the drywall.

i am expecting a visitor, it seems.

Sun, 05 Aug 2007 01:34:30 GMT

be of love (a little)
More careful
Than of everything

e.e. cummings

i had to leave the house of television to start noticing the clouds

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 00:19:24 GMT

I am back from Hillside.

We arrived in Guelph at about noon. Checked in, ate, shopped, then made our way out to the island for Ani D. and so much more.

Jay

c.
(The stage is right behind me. This is how close we were!)

Ani and E.'s hand. :)

I'd love to volunteer at this event next year and really experience it all. What an excellent evening, though, regardless of it only being that one.

stolen from sonjaaa

Thu, 26 Jul 2007 04:00:51 GMT

you've been planning to remember this so nothing will be lost in the end

Tue, 10 Jul 2007 23:31:13 GMT

I was just on chapters.indigo.ca browsing French grammar/verb conjugation guides when I clicked on Bescherelle 3: La grammaire pour tous and noticed the icon beneath the graphic of the book cover.

Add to Facebook?!

he was new in town i was nineteen

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 23:40:35 GMT

i've finally decided to start actively saving my dough so i can go back to school in the near future. (glendon, here i come!) however, i am a realist, and as such, i am not expecting this excruciating saving process to take any less than four years. i probably won't be able to afford downtown rent in the meantime - unless a roommate comes along, but i'm hardly looking. oshawa is looking as nasty as ever, but it turning out to be a viable option, dare i say it.

september will send me topsy-turvey, but with some sense of direction in the long run - the looming hint of an exit strategy will keep me going. (again.)

...or does anyone want to lend me thirty thousand dollars so we can just forget this whole messy ordeal?