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Monday, February 9th, 2009
2:25 pm

This year I'm taking the long way around.  Instead of publishing shameful excuses for legitimate book-goals in advance, I'm going to be doing the work, then reaping the benefits.  (Thought I'd put a different spin on things since my last two years have flopped miserably!) 

Blah, blah...Canadian authors...all that.  You know.

by Toni Morrison
The Freedom Writers Diary: How a Teacher and 150 Teens Used Writing to Change Themselves and the
World Around Them by The Freedom Writers with Erin Gruwell
Written on the Body
by Jeanette Winterson
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry
Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss
No One Belongs Here More Than You: Stories by Miranda July
The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
**Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O'Neill
The Stone Gods by Jeanette Winterson
Rent Girl by Michelle Tea & Laurenn McCubbin
Deaf Child Crossing by Marlee Matlin
Rose of No Man's Land by Michelle Tea
**I Am a Red Dress by Anna Camilleri
**Fables of Brunswick Avenue by Katherine Govier

** = o canada!

current mood: hopeful


Saturday, September 6th, 2008
6:02 pm
this is a time to be humbled.  i cannot afford an ego today.


Thursday, August 7th, 2008
10:54 pm
I had anticipated Calgary would be the highlight of this trek cross-country. In fact, I almost booked a second overnight stay. Now I am dreading dawn and the eight or so of hours left glaringly vacant for me to fill in this city before my evening departure. I want to wake up in beautiful British Columbia to parted lips and a hungry tongue sooner than later. (Whose parted lips and hungry tongue is to be determined at a later date.)

An Ode to Hostelling: Calgary-style

I wonder if we were not such stark strangers - we; us; the five in this room - would there be a single difference in our positions on these couches? In our rhythmic, independent keystrokes or penstrokes? Would conversation ensue? Would we even glance up?


Four corners - four glowing monitors. The man in the middle ponders over Sudoku and scratches his forehead just above his left eyebrow whenever I cast my gaze in his direction. He is defenseless against my scrutiny - he knows not what I write.


Go to a youth hostel to make new friends. It is what we are all doing here. Except in this overstuffed common-room, five silent bodies, ten darting eyes, fifty agile fingers, and ten sealed lips protest in disillusionment.

current mood: too damn tired for this


Friday, July 11th, 2008
7:31 pm - i just resurfaced and here you are

Upon receipt of an incoming call from a phone number with which I am unfamiliar, I deliberately ignore the four rings until my voice mail picks up.  If there is no coherent message to speak of, I then instinctively search the number on canada411.ca.

It just occurred to me that the world is terribly small these days, and that we are all potential stalkers.  Yikes.

current mood: somewhat taken aback


Tuesday, July 8th, 2008
12:45 pm
every time i see a little red car
i do a double-take to be sure
it isn't you.

do you know how many times
i have unwittingly jerked my head today?

i imagine
if each of us had our own unique vehicle––custom-made
to accommodate our individual heights and weights, exact hair colour,
astrological signs,
sense of humour,
tone of voice, our
most intimate smells and sexual
that i might be spared a life’s worth of heartache
and spying out my window
at my unsuspecting neighbour backing into her driveway
then lifting the hatch
to drag in the groceries.


Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
4:00 pm

"Vade Mecum"

I want the scissors to be sharp
and the table perfectly level
when you cut me out of my life
and paste me in that book you always carry.

--Billy Collins

Happy Canada Day

current mood: exasperated


Monday, June 30th, 2008
9:23 pm - bad dreams like this roll in like a cold front
there is a sweet, sweet bicycle laying upright against the wall in my backyard.  i would love to take it for a spin tonight, but i've spent the majority of the weekend timid and tense - i am learning about bleeding and it will be weeks before i ride again.

and of bikes and riding: i think fondly of n. and the passing of time; i am increasingly inspired to go-go-go-get away from here.  me: so unwholesome next to her sound righteousness.  my debt to her: an impossible vacuum in which i will surely burn infinite.  (still, i won't go down easy - i am no smooth elixir.)

with my palms outstretched and ticket in hand, i will cross your waters some day.

current mood: guilty


Sunday, May 25th, 2008
10:46 am
i am going to bomb this. 

too spaced to do it right, too grounded to take it lightly.  and i'm sorry on top of things.  i have been too.... and not enough....  i forget the sensation of firmer ground.

balance, you say.  what's that?

(4 unbroken tunes | hum)

Saturday, March 15th, 2008
9:26 pm - twisted tits and face smashed against the mattress
feed the artists!

Danish government wants jobless artists to become teachers


i am home from montreal with a new haircut and fresh images of lingering touch.


current mood: exhausted

(1 unbroken tune | hum)

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008
9:43 pm

What should we have taken
with us? We never could decide
on that; or what to wear,
or at what time of
year we should make the journey

So here we are in thin
raincoats and rubber boots

On the disasterous ice, the wind rising

Nothing in our pockets

But a pencil stub, two oranges
Four Toronto streetcar tickets

And an elastic band holding a bundle
of small white filing cards
printed with important facts.

--Margaret Atwood

current mood: anxious


Monday, March 10th, 2008
4:20 am - baby 'cause in the dark you can't see shiny cars
i have no shortage of things to accomplish during this insomniac spree, yet i find myself surfing idly and glancing over my shoulder in increasingly infrequent intervals.  there is something about the night that changes this house, even with all the lights on.  i try to read and am interrupted by my own imagination's frightful fancies.  i type away with one earphone in, straining to listen against the low volume for...what?  i don't know.

onto other things.  i find this amusing:

current mood: awake


Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
12:47 pm - anti-bullying

Finally, my chance to wear the pinkest scarf of them all!

Wear pink to fight bullying, minister says

current mood: tired


Thursday, February 21st, 2008
10:01 pm
oh sweet black universe, give me back candy's address! 

i cannot accept that i've lost her for good.  not as long as i can still hear her hearty, wild-woman growl-howl over the grinding gears of the greyhound we shared once upon a time.

come back, ms roo.

current mood: despaired

(7 unbroken tunes | hum)

Monday, February 18th, 2008
12:45 pm - if you're gonna do it overdo it
What's your take on the abundance of Obay ads posted around the city? 

I love them.  I'm anxious for the corporate revelation in the coming weeks though, and that makes me a little afraid.  The Conformists are taking a stab at non-conformity, what, by releasing ads that have piqued interest all over the city and all.  A bit of sick humour and everyone stands at the utmost attention - are we really that cynical?  I know I am.  (I must say, I am far more intrigued by this little gem than the Bell-gift-fiasco from a few winters ago.  Remember those damned blue presents plastered over every inch of available wall space in this city?)

A sheep I may be, so bring it on, Corporate Canada!

(An article I found on Torontoist.)

current mood: cold


Friday, January 11th, 2008
11:28 pm
It seemed, at the time, a very good idea to destroy all evidence of having ever known her. She was already on her way over, but this blaze was a quick one and it burned hot and fast, understanding the urgency. The smoky clouds were cleared by the penetrating glare of the full moon, and the scent was absorbed by a bounty of pine. Clean slate.

Later, when she came around for her things and to slaughter the unworthy, run-around swine, she was sore and surprised. Nothingness replaced her remaining belongings. Empty space. No body in the vulnerable, blistering void. No deliciously severed prize-pig tonight. She swung and raised her axe suddenly and lashed out at the supple earth beneath her. With a primitive roar, she split the soil and rendered the merciless exposure of the private confines of anthills and tree roots. The weapon wedged in the ground and mocked her: sharp, tall, upright.

She abandoned the axe. She trudged through the gardens. Collapsed in the car, and finally awoke.

current mood: exhausted

(2 unbroken tunes | hum)

Friday, January 4th, 2008
12:52 am
forgive away in the excitement
of certain happiness and a blonde promise


i will propose my ornament      
    but darling         

                    not tonight

current mood: elated


Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
10:21 pm - keep your eye on that one
Ani D. meets the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Could I have a bigger dream come true?!

(This is actually pretty cute.)

current mood: amused

(3 unbroken tunes | hum)

Sunday, December 9th, 2007
10:40 am - if you always get up late you'll never be on time
dreamt of strangers knocking on the back door, commuter planes parked in the driveway, the neighbour-kids climbing through holes in the drywall.

i am expecting a visitor, it seems.


Saturday, August 4th, 2007
9:32 pm
be of love (a little)
More careful
Than of everything

e.e. cummings

current mood: melancholy

(1 unbroken tune | hum)

Monday, July 30th, 2007
8:20 pm - i had to leave the house of television to start noticing the clouds

I am back from Hillside.  

We arrived in Guelph at about noon.  Checked in, ate, shopped, then made our way out to the island for Ani D. and so much more.

I'd love to volunteer at this event next year and really experience it all.  What an excellent evening, though, regardless of it only being that one.

current mood: exhausted, but happy!


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